Bic'd

I took the plunge last night and shaved my head with a razor. I had been umming and ahhing about it for days thinking that it would look a bit harsh, but Jo said that from anywhere other than right up close I look completely bald so I might as well do it. I am so glad I did, I think that a smattering of short fine hair is almost confirmation that you've had chemotherapy, but a fully razor shaved head could be a choice - a pretty weird choice for someone of my age - but it isn't so obvious why I'm bald now. My eyebrows have also started to thicken up again after getting really quite thin on the ground, and some of my facial hair is coming back, mostly in the tache area which isn't a good look

There are some benefits to having a bald head: no hat hair when removing hats, moisturising my scalp which is an unexpected pleasure, looking a bit threatening in a checked shirt and skinny jeans (only doc martins needed if you can picture it). But there are also some negatives: I am cold all the time (wearing hats in the house), bashing your head (it seems even a little hair is better then none when it comes to cracking your bald head on the corner of a cupboard), being called a 'big, bald bad boy' by your eldest daughter. Overall I have to say it is not as bad as I was expecting and I really don't mind it. It is weird that as the thing I would say worried me the most before the transplant, when it finally happened I suddenly realised that in the scheme of things loosing my hair was the least of my worries.

I lost about half a stone during the transplant, and I'm likely to loose weight during the donor transplant, and I cannot afford to loose any more so I have been set the enviable task of putting ON weight. I am literally having to stuff my face as much as possible to pile on the pounds as I may not have much time before the next procedure. I don't weigh myself but I have a pair of jeans that I use as a guide to my size and when I came out of hospital they were quite a comfortable fit, but now I exhale involuntarily when I sit down, which is a good sign. It is so odd to eat as much as possible (and then some) and supplement with protein shakes with ice cream in, see weight going on and having to keep going, and not feeling guilty. My overwhelming urge is to stop, or slow down, when I can see my stomach getting a bit blobby again, but I have to keep eating - it's for my own good!

Gone back to work this week, just a couple of days working from home, but my work have provided a couple of projects to be getting on with and it feels great to have a bit of my life back. And hopefully it will make me appreciate time at home a bit more, as we have been spending a lot of time together, and maybe that is starting to show a little! I stand by the fact that one of the biggest plus points of having been off sick for this long is the time I have spent with my kids, which I never would have got if I was working, but you can have too much of a good thing and it really was time to get back and engage the brain again. I have spent all day analysing noise data in spreadsheets and building a noise model of a new hotel site. Bliss.